Sabeena & Charu have pointed out that it is very tough for a girl to against her family and society.

I do agree with them.

But does it mean that girls should keep quiet and bear the brunt of dowry, tolerate the curse of discrimination, prepare themselves for the ordeal they might go after their marriage ??

Look dears, In India ( like everywhere else ) money still talks.Infact it talks much louder than anything else. You ask any kid,teenager or youth and he wants to be next Anil or Mukesh Ambani or as rich as Bill Gates.No one wants to be Mother Teresa ( other than Miss India/World contestants because they are fed these lines in such a manner that whatever be the question,they know only one answer and that is this.No one wants to be a dedicated Indian citizen.

Sorry I got drifted away from topic.what I was sayiny is that in India money still rules.Power is still held with awe.And post is still respected.If one possesses all three,he is a super boss.If he possesses two,he is a big boss.And if he possesses just one,he is still a boss.

Only that girl can dare to refuse the marriage,who possesses at least one of these qualities.If she is financilly strong,even her family members can't force her to marry against her wish.Work and financial independence inculcates extra confidence.And this is what a girl needs.She needs that extra confidence through money,post and power.Then only she can show doors to dowry dogs.

How to deal with these people if they are our own kith and kin ??

What is never taught to us is - how to be a better husband and wife.

There is room to learn and improve in every sphere of life and in this relationship - all the more.

The person with whom we are supposed to lead the whole life comes from an entirely different background,mindset and interest.

If the lady luck smiles at us,we might get a life partner of same interest and mindset.But lady luck will smile at how many pairs !! She doesn't in most of the cases.

What parents see in a boy is his stability,job,physique and look.What they can't read is,which is most vital, is his mind,his inner self.

And in the case of girls,almost eveything is cross checked.First of all the financial status of her parents.Second comes her look,complexion and height etc.Thirdly her education.Fourthly her culinary

skill and so on.But in this case also her true nature and mind remain unchecked.

So when they get married ( especially in arranged marriage ),they keep very high hopes & expectations from each other.

And most of the time their dreams are smashed to smithereens in a very short span of time. ( many a time - in 24 hours ).

The disappointment percentage in husband - wife relationship is growing higher and higher as the days are going by.Especially in working couples.

Look here,mere knowing each other before marriage is not enough.

Even courting for 2 months or two years is not enough.

Proper counselling and training of say 2 or 3 months before marriage is must.I know it sounds absurd.

Still if we want a better and peaceful ( peace has flown out of the window in the case of most married couples ) married life,we will have to undergo some sort of genuine training.

May be some institutions will come forward in future and conduct such classes.As my organisation has taken initiative in this field and is conducting awareness seminars off and on.

I amnot going to talk about eunuchs either.

Actually I am going to talk about boys who are even worse than eunuchs.Eunuchs are eunuchs because of manufacturing defects. These boys look perfectly normal even polished and sophisticated.They are well educated and well placed.Still they are 'kalank' and I am sorry to say there number is pretty high in India ( somewhere 80 - 85% ).Shocked ?? Once you listen to my reasons for calling them so,you will agree with me and who knows you might use even some better adjectives for them.

Well,SIXERS are they

- who fix their own price in marriage market

- who are so shameless that they don't hesitate to break the relationship even after engagement just because their demands are not fulfilled

- who hold such high posts like IAS,Bank P.O.,Computer Programmer,MBA,Doctor,Engineer ( many of them settled abroad ) and still spread their hands like beggers before girls'parents

- who ill treat,abuse,thrash,torture their wives because they are unable to bring more dowry for them

- who set their wives in fire,poison them,throw them out of their house at mid night or moving car just to get rid of them

Now tell me - what name would you give to these buthchers ? Would you still keep them in human being group ?

To my mind any boy who can't give a better life to his wife completely on his own has no right to marry.

If he claims to be educated, he must behave like a cultured and civilized person.He must be bold enough to marry the girl without taking a single penny.

If he seeks a modern girl to marry,he himself must be modern.He must be bold enough to lift his orthodox parents out of the quagmire of outdated customs.

If they are unable to do so,they should go and get operated.

They are worse than eunuchs.

Aren't they ??

What say ???

I envy almost everything that they do.

I envy their late night parties.

I envy their datings and settings.

I envy their funky hair styles and decking up.

( which often put onlookers in a fix - regarding their gender )

I envy their passion for drink and smoke.

I envy their pre marital sex life.

I envy their bindas life style.

They are really leading their lives on their terms.

They are having all the fun and kick of life.

But I feel their next generation ( their sons and daughters )

will lead still a better life when

- returning home won't be a binding

- sex change will be a kid's game

- cute little kiddus will be hanging in the arms of unmarried college going pops and moms

- dresses will be so scanty that one might have to use power glass to see them

- toddlers might pick up the habit of drugs and drinks before standing on their feet

We are definitely progressing.This is just the bird's eye view of our progress.There will be much more like marriage will be an outdated custom,children will be unable to recognise their original parents,couples will be awarded if they happen to pull out for more than a year.

Boy,we are progressing.Aren't we ?? Where will our superficial modernity take us in next 50 or 100 years ???

It sounds exaggeration.Take my word - the way we are hastily moving towards ,it has to come true.

We try to avoid him.And then - we become helpless in doing so.

We miss him when he is not around.We miss him when we have something important or silly to say.We miss him when we read or hear something worth sharing.

On the other hand, many a time we hate to tell him something important because we know we won't get the response that we want or we'll hear something just the reverse.Still we can't help telling him.

Well this is how the love and hate relationship works.Isn't it ??

He remains our most loving enemy.

Yes it might offend them still it's true.

I am not talking about the girls who hail from poor or lower middle class. It is easy to understand their position.They hardly have any say even in their own families what to say about society !!

I am talking about the girls who go to good public schools,avail best education and get freedom to lead the life the way they want.

Let's start with the biggest menace of Indian society i.e. dowry.

Even highly educated girls, well established girls hardly ever raise their voice against this curse.They can easily put their foot down - against the boys who demand dowry.

Why these girls like other illiterate ones give so much importance to marriage ? Why do they also think that marriage is their ultimate destiny ? Why do they keep mum when they see with their own eyes how tough it is for their fathers to manage their dowry ? If you don't raise your voice against evil,it means you are a part of that evil and you are supporting it.

Look here, education doesn't mean getting degrees and getting jobs.

It means - daring to call a spade a spade.It means to grow up mentally.

Modernity doesn't mean wearing trendy dresses and sporting mod look.

It means being bolder and smarter.It means means bringing positive change in life.

Girls have got to break the shackles of traditional thinking.They themselves have to bring meaningful,fruitful changes in their lives.

Boys who ask for dowry are definitely rogues,but girls who agree to marry these ( highly educated and placed ) snobs and hoodlums are even more responsible.

What say ??

Indian politicains are still playing the same dirty tricks and laymen are still the same dying to be befooled by them.They give ears to them and get carried away.

The present burning example is being set by none other than Raj Takhare and co.

They are trying to allure Maharastrians by raising anti Bihari sloguns.They are so selfish and block heads that they are not able to see its repercussion.They are setting the ground to let all states wage a war against one another.They are there in Maharastra so they know they are safe.What about thousand of Maharastrians who are working in Bihar and other states ?They are least bothered about them.It is quite obvious that if Biharis or people from other statesswill be thrashed,tortured and killed in Maharastra,Maharastrians in other states will get the treatment - they will also be caught,beaten and killed.

Raj Thakre and co. is least bothered about the welfare of Maharastrians.Had they been concerned, they would have taken many positive steps to uplift them like setting up more industries,creating more

job opportunities for localities instead of filling the air with hatred and bitterness.

What is alarming is the premarital sex that too in school going kids or in teen agers.When both parents are working out,it becomes all the more easy for young bird brains to indulge in such activities.The modernity fever is spreading its poisonous wings all over.Even small cities aren't far behind.The teenagers find it absolutely normal and in their language it is a perfectly cool thing.In trying to prove that they are in no way less modern than others,they are doing so many things which are neither normal nor ethical.

For example Late Night Parties.Kids returning home at 1 or 2 a.m.From Indian mind set it is not normal.Till the time one is living with family one is bound to follow family norms.And according to Indian ethics, all family should take together and eat.Since the day time routine is so hectic that family members hardly get time to sit together or even breakfast together.So night is the perfect time for everyone to sit together and have dinner, share the light and tense moments with each other.In this way the family will come closer and they will have close family tie.

Whatever one says,parents are also responsible for giving extra freedom to kids for late night parties.

Working in healthier environment is much better than working in a stuffy environment.Even if you are getting a little less,it is better for mental peace,physical health and better family life.The craving for more and more is making this generation Mental wreck.This is making them sick both physically as well as mentally.

The sooner they realise it,the better it will be.